Change

I spent most of today driving. Driving 60 miles away from my home to scout out a new home, one closer to Midwestern University. After spending hours on craigslist and the Internet looking for suitable housing I had located 2 possibilities and made arrangements to see them. I loaded up the kids and we hit the road at 10am.

1 hour and 20 minutes later we arrived at Melissa's home, my sister-in-law who recently relocated to Peoria. We unloaded, I fed the kids and Melissa fixed us both lunch and we left shortly thereafter.

The first house was just up the street from her, less than a mile away. It is clean and would suit our family nicely for our time in medical school. The second home I didn't even go in the front door. It was trashed, there was an eviction notice on the front door and when I opened it there was all the people's stuff in there! I had an uneasy feeling, locked it back up real quick and we drove away, firmly crossing that one off our short list.

As I was driving home I began to be a bit melancholy. This is for REAL. We are MOVING. Change! Big, BIG changes! Oh, I don't care for change. 5 hours after we left we arrived home. I fed and put the kids down for a nap. I began to notice all the little things in my home that I have taken for granted. Silly things really; the height of our bathroom counters, the large tile, my pantry, our large backyard and extended lot. We have a nice, modest home and I have been so happy here.

For so long medical school has been something that we just talked about, something that we just kept tucked away in our back pockets. "Next year...", "Oh this summer we will move...", "in August...", "the kids will be 9 months old...", so on and so forth. Now all of a sudden it is here! BAM! In our faces. A reality that is not going away unless we walk away. This has been such a tumultuous decision process and not one we have taken lightly. Do we go? Do we stay? Will it be worth it? Then we would agonize and deliberate, toss concerns back and forth. We researched loans, scholarships and had a coronary attack at the massive amount of debt we would incur if we paid for it through loans alone, plus interest! The we would worry more and when it became too much we tucked right back into our pockets to worry about another day. Well that day is here. And we have decided to press forward. Full steam ahead!

Phil applied to the Air Force for the Health Professions Scholarship Program. This will pay for tuition for all 4 years, plus give us a monthly stipend to live off of. It would ease the burden of debt and allow me to only work 1 or 2 days a week to make ends meet. The contingency is applying for and serving a military residency and then after all training is complete we would owe them 4 years of active duty service and 4 years of reserves. All in all we are looking 12 years down the road before we are free and clear.

Scary.

Overwhelming.

We found out Monday that Phil did not get the scholarship, he was placed on an alternate list but do to the highly competitive nature of the program that list is not likely to move.

Plan B: We have applied to the Army for the same scholarship program and won't hear until mid-June. If we don't get it then we move to Plan C: Go back to the Air Force and apply for a 3 year scholarship instead. One less year to pay back! We would have to finance the first year of school ourselves.

Oh, woe is me! I am stopping this right now. We will be fine. This is good, progress! Change may be hard but we can do hard things. My patriarchal blessing says "you must and you shall realize that anything worthwhile is worth working and praying for". I believe my learning period is about to begin. I better start praying.

We are trying to be faithful and press forward. I know that people do this all the time; move away, go to school, incur debt in the name of progress and self-improvement, live on a meager income (or loans!) and through it all they live to tell about it, they have families, growing experiences, make wonderful friends, they THRIVE. So can we. We can do hard things. Ready, set, GO!

Naptime Snuggles

No words.

Easter Week

My mom and Link came down to visit during their spring break. Monday evening for FHE we went down to the Mesa Cemetary to see Camden's grave. It is the first time we have taken the kids and this is our first family picture with all of us since we were discharged from the hospital. I am thankful that my parents were there to help us capture it.


We returned the favor. Max & Kate with their Papa Link and Grandma Nay.


I shot this as we were walking to the truck. I love it. Max's eyes are incredible and there is no crazy photoshop involved, just a low aperture.



We loaded the kids and as Phil was shutting the door he noticed Kate. Girl can't keep her headbands on, they are either blind folds or neck ties. I was hoping she never figured this out. I love her pouty lips and sweet double chin.



We topped off the evening by going downtown to find something to eat, lugging the kids in their carseats as we walked down Main Street back and forth only to find everything closed. We returned home and I made BBQ chicken pizza and had apple pie a la mode with caramel sauce and watched the Blindside.

The rest of the week was spent enjoying family and ending with Conference. It was wonderful and I really enjoyed the messages and emphasis on teaching our children. I have since listened to the sessions again online. How blessed we are to have access to them again and again.

I am so grateful for this gospel, for our Savior who has made it possible for us to return to our Heavenly home, for the covenants that Phillip & I have made with the Lord and each other that enables my family to be forever, that I will see Camden again. I am so blessed to be a mother.

7 Months

Oh dear. Why do you keep growing? So fast, too fast.

7 month facts:

Max:


Weighed 13 pounds 13 ounces at your 6 month check-up, 3 weeks ago, so I can safely assume you weigh over 14 pounds. You big hunk of love! I swear everytime I pick you up, primarily when I am doing it one-handed, you feel heavier. I love it.

You roll over from tummy to back and back to tummy. You are strong! We are learning and practicing sitting.

You have stopped spitting up like a crazy man, now only does so when playing with a crazy daddy or when placed on your tummy after eating, still nothing compared to your geyser days.

Loves to eat! LOVES it! You open nice and wide and happily kick your feet and wave your hands, then promptly put them in your mouth.

Just discovered how to jump in the jumperoo. You love jumping in our laps and anytime you stand.

You like to drink out of our cup of water and grab the cup with both hands and then are shocked when the cold water hits you, yet you keep wanting more.

Kate:


Weighed 11 pounds 15 ounces at 6 month check-up, so safely now 12 pounds. You still feel like a feather weight. You are our pipper, pip, pipsqueak, peanut, etc.

You talk all.the.time. And just the other day you started saying mmmma, mmmmma, over and over. It sounds like you are saying "mama" though I know you have yet to associate me with the word. But it is still cute.

As always your thumb is your best friend. It helps you get to sleep and stay asleep. It also is in your mouth between every bite of food. I have to keep your hand down and am a broken record saying "hands down please" in hopes that eventually it will sink in. I am nothing if not consistent but so are you with that dang thumb.

You like to drink out of my cup. Sippy cups are being bought tomorrow just for fun.



You roll over from tummy to back, now sleep on your back or side. Occasionally you will roll from back to tummy, with some persuasion on our part. You don't like to practice sitting and are rigid or arch your back so you can lay down.

Both:
Nursing is going wonderfully. You are both champs and seriously I just am there and you both latch yourselves on and get busy. And nursing has gotten very busy lately! You are little monkeys most of the time, moving all over the place, looking around, talking to me, each other and your dad when he comes near. Kate pops her thumb in and I have to remove it and get her back to task.

Solids: You both eat bananas, applesauce, pears, peaches, prunes, zucchini, peas, carrots, sweet potato, and green beans. Very little rice cereal.

Sleep: Bedtime is 7pm, we have dropped the dream feed (10pm) and you have just recently started sleeping until 3-4am! Wahoo! No matter what time you eat in the wee hours of the morning, even if it is 4:30, our day starts at 6:30am. Bunch of early birds! We need no alarm around here, we have a Max & Kate.

Gastfreunde (German for Guests)

In the middle of March we were happy to have our friends Tamara & her boyfriend Jan visits us from Berlin. Phil has been friends with the Miebes family ever since Benjamin (Tamara's brother) first came to be a foreign exchange student when Phil was in high school. We have since visited them twice in Germany and this is our second time hosting as well. They are both residents right now; Jan in dermatology and Tamara in pediatrics. It was a rather impromptu trip and we were happy to be on the itinerary as they toured around the Southwest. They had a heck of a time getting here thanks to some nasty east coast weather that turned their almost direct flight into a 4 or 5 city "tour" as their plane kept getting redirected. We spent 3 days hosting them.



Tamara loves babies! A good thing since she is going to be a pediatrician. Here we are in our morning glory.



One of the days Phil took them out to see our desert in bloom. They went out near Tortilla Flat, ate a nice lunch there and then headed home through Globe and sampled some real Mexican food.



Shooting guns was the highlight of their day.



Jan is a real sportsman and loved shooting. It is frowned upon in Germany so he was grateful to get to do it here. He is quite the sharp shooter for not having any experience. Tamara shot a few times and that was enough for her.



On their last night with us we wanted them to sample some "American" food. So naturally we grilled hamburgers, I made vanilla ice cream, individual apple pies and we topped it with a homemade dark salted caramel sauce. Um, divine! We were all in heaven.





Since our international travelling days are a long time coming we are excited for their next visit to the States whenever that may be!

The Everyday

There is much to catch up on and I will, promise. For now let's take a look at our typical day.

Exhibit A above:
Two adorable nakey babies playing, semi-nude because I do so much dang laundry as it is between mealtimes, drool and the occasional spit-ups.
The ever present laundry, waiting, always waiting.
The running shoes also waiting. I had good intentions yesterday, we managed to squeak in a quick mile at the track once Phil got home since our once predictable schedule has been MIA lately.
Imagine to your left dishes waiting their turn and various mail/clutter on the center island. I try, I really do.



The front room currently houses a craft table burgeoning with loads of felt and a sundry of sewing supplies waiting to be crafted into two, yes, TWO!, separate quiet books. Because I am crazy. Hopefully they will be done before the kids' second birthday. I kid. Maybe. I have almost 4 pages done for Max's book.



One delightfully delicious boy who grows chubbier by the day. I love it.



One chatty little girl full of spunk and fire. She's our pip, as in pipsqueak in reference to her size, just barely 12 pounds now.





Please note the rubberband wrists, double chin, luscious thighs and roly poly arms with dimpled elbows.



Further evidence of messiness and our new dress code for meals. She puts her thumb in her mouth after almost every bite. Love her.

Neglected

Oh this poor journal. I want to write, I do. I think of it often and mentally start compiling my thoughts and the days (weeks) events and then naptime abruptly ends or the dishes, laundry, email, bills, exercise, etc. anything/everything else calls my name and another day goes unrecorded.

I was remarking to my friend Rebecca yesterday on our walk that I used to blog effortlessly,words flowed and this was before I had children to write about. She said I need to write for me, no one else. She is right and I know that and this blog has already turned into an ode to Max & Kate, as it should, they are our life right now and that alone is deserving of its own record.

I am going to try to do better, try to record the everyday, the monotony routine and albeit mundane season of motherhood that I am in right now. I say that with happiness though, I like routine, I like the mundane and seemingly endless loop of life that we are in right now. I am fine staying home day in and day out with my littles, catering to naps and nursing, forgoing errands and outings. I am soaking in the little triumphs and failures of each day and ever reminding myself that this time passes too quickly so I need to live it up, enjoy it!

So I will. And I will record it.