I spent most of today driving. Driving 60 miles away from my home to scout out a new home, one closer to Midwestern University. After spending hours on craigslist and the Internet looking for suitable housing I had located 2 possibilities and made arrangements to see them. I loaded up the kids and we hit the road at 10am.
1 hour and 20 minutes later we arrived at Melissa's home, my sister-in-law who recently relocated to Peoria. We unloaded, I fed the kids and Melissa fixed us both lunch and we left shortly thereafter.
The first house was just up the street from her, less than a mile away. It is clean and would suit our family nicely for our time in medical school. The second home I didn't even go in the front door. It was trashed, there was an eviction notice on the front door and when I opened it there was all the people's stuff in there! I had an uneasy feeling, locked it back up real quick and we drove away, firmly crossing that one off our short list.
As I was driving home I began to be a bit melancholy. This is for REAL. We are MOVING. Change! Big, BIG changes! Oh, I don't care for change. 5 hours after we left we arrived home. I fed and put the kids down for a nap. I began to notice all the little things in my home that I have taken for granted. Silly things really; the height of our bathroom counters, the large tile, my pantry, our large backyard and extended lot. We have a nice, modest home and I have been so happy here.
For so long medical school has been something that we just talked about, something that we just kept tucked away in our back pockets. "Next year...", "Oh this summer we will move...", "in August...", "the kids will be 9 months old...", so on and so forth. Now all of a sudden it is here! BAM! In our faces. A reality that is not going away unless we walk away. This has been such a tumultuous decision process and not one we have taken lightly. Do we go? Do we stay? Will it be worth it? Then we would agonize and deliberate, toss concerns back and forth. We researched loans, scholarships and had a coronary attack at the massive amount of debt we would incur if we paid for it through loans alone, plus interest! The we would worry more and when it became too much we tucked right back into our pockets to worry about another day. Well that day is here. And we have decided to press forward. Full steam ahead!
Phil applied to the Air Force for the Health Professions Scholarship Program. This will pay for tuition for all 4 years, plus give us a monthly stipend to live off of. It would ease the burden of debt and allow me to only work 1 or 2 days a week to make ends meet. The contingency is applying for and serving a military residency and then after all training is complete we would owe them 4 years of active duty service and 4 years of reserves. All in all we are looking 12 years down the road before we are free and clear.
Scary.
Overwhelming.
We found out Monday that Phil did not get the scholarship, he was placed on an alternate list but do to the highly competitive nature of the program that list is not likely to move.
Plan B: We have applied to the Army for the same scholarship program and won't hear until mid-June. If we don't get it then we move to Plan C: Go back to the Air Force and apply for a 3 year scholarship instead. One less year to pay back! We would have to finance the first year of school ourselves.
Oh, woe is me! I am stopping this right now. We will be fine. This is good, progress! Change may be hard but we can do hard things. My patriarchal blessing says "you must and you shall realize that anything worthwhile is worth working and praying for". I believe my learning period is about to begin. I better start praying.
We are trying to be faithful and press forward. I know that people do this all the time; move away, go to school, incur debt in the name of progress and self-improvement, live on a meager income (or loans!) and through it all they live to tell about it, they have families, growing experiences, make wonderful friends, they THRIVE. So can we. We can do hard things. Ready, set, GO!
6 comments:
I am sad that he didn't get the scholarship....but proud of you for your sweet attitude.....love you!
At least you guys are going into it with your eyes wide open. I sometimes feel like Nate and I just jumped right in and now the thought of all of this debt and these loans eats at me every day. We will definitely be living very tight until we pay it all off.
It is really hard to move, but it will hopefully be a good change and a way to make new friends and have new experiences.
I think you have every right to feel scared, overwhelmed and unsure about everything that lies ahead. I know I feel the same way. Tyler will be applying for Dental School in about a year. That is one year that we have left to be close to family and live in Arizona - our home. So I can relate to those feelings. I think that living off loans during Dental School is fine. At least it is for us. Sure, there is a massive amount of debt at the end of school, but the salary Tyler ( and Phil ) will make will be much more also. So the debt will be paid off much faster than it would be right now. Don't look at all those things though. Don't focus on those. Those are things you can't change. Just look forward, hold your husbands hand, squeeze your little ones and GO. Have faith in the Lord and know that he is leading you the right way. I am so happy that things are starting to fall into place. And what a blessing you can stay in Arizona and even live close to family. I am excited to hear all the things you get to experience soon : )
I also don't like change. It is hard for me to make friends and I don't "put myself out there" very well. But, as scary as this new adventure will be, it will be so worth it for your family. Good luck, and don't forget us here in Ellsworth Ward!
Change is always a little nerve-racking! We never know what we're capable of until we test ourselves--you two are awesome and I know you'll make the most of change. You can do it!
Let me know how I can help!love you guys!
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