Max cried immediately and my heart broke a little. We avoided our usual stop at the couch and double wide pillow. We are done nursing and I am not quite sure how I feel about it.
I cut out two feeds over a month ago to start off our weaning process, one each week and then we held steady with just nursing in the mornings and before bed. This past Monday night we had family pictures and didn't get home until close to bedtime. The kids had a late dinner and I figured it was the perfect opportunity to drop the night feeding. So we did.
Breakfast is finished, two faces and four hands are washed and the little bodies are set down to play. Kate takes off unfazed by the change in our routine. Max on the other hand is not happy. He cries when I set him down to play, cries when I brush his teeth, cries all through his diaper change and for good measure through Kate's as well.
I know just what he needs. We go to our couch and my weak resolve crumbles. Max gets exactly what he wants, what he needs. My kids cannot nurse solo, if someone is eating then surely the other must be invited as well. Kate sees her brother, asks to joins us and all is well. Two little hands thump my chest and then those two little hands clasp one another, my favorite part. Kate rolls off the pillow a few minutes later, signalling she is through and Max continues on. And on. And takes over Kate's place as well. Finally he is sated and happily goes about the important daily duties of further destruction and exploration.
We worked so hard to get to this place; where nursing is second nature, natural, smooth and easy. Countless hours with my trusty hospital pump, clogged ducts, a horrendous milk blister and the fear that Kate would never "like" me and figure out nursing. But we did it. We have nursed for over one year (pumpings included). I have nurtured and been responsible for the growth and well being of two incredible children; from 3 pounds and 3 pounds 10 ounces to almost 16 and 19 pounds respectively. We did it!
So, what's the rush? Why the hurry? What's another few lazy mornings of peace and comfort? I once craved the freedom and flexibility of not nursing and now that it is coming to an end I am bittersweet, I will miss it. What a wonderful gift. I hope I will be able to do it again someday.
My view from our nursing pillow, December 24, 2009, camera phone.
9 comments:
I'm so glad Croix didn't seem to protest or care to much. At the same time, it made a just a touch sad that he didn't seem to miss it. Just another giant step torward their freedom and indipendance!
You have been blessed to have an overall positive experience with nursing twins. It must be hard to end it when they (especially Max) enjoy it so much. Carter decided the other day that he was done and it only bothered me that HE was the one deciding and not me. I had pictured it the other way around. But overall, I am more than pleased with my experience of nursing him for 10 1/2 months, when I wasn't able to get past 2 weeks with my first two. It has been a healing experience for me. Anyway, best wishes as you decide what will be best for you and your sweet babies!
Ahhh, I say just keep on doing it. I weaned Reese at 11 months thinking that I would lose a bunch of weight, which I have, but still I am sad about it. I see moms nursing and it makes me sad. I have vowed that next time I will go longer even though people are constantly telling me that 11 months is plenty. Its just a hard thing to give up, I guess. Reese didn't even act like she cared one way or the other so it was an easy transition...just sad. Do it until you are ready to give it up.
i still miss nursing my little rylie...its such a wonderful thing...dont rush it if you dont want to. every kid is different. it was SO hard when i stopped nursing and i still think about it often...good luck and just go with your gut feeling...
I really think the reason it is so sad is because you have to work hard to make it happen in the first place. Wesley was my longest nurser at 13 months. Daniel quit on his own and I had to stop nursing Jaxon due to his illness. Why rush stopping something you worked so hard to get started? I would have given in too. Wesley stopped nursing last week, but then yesterday came up patting my chest with a begging expression. So sad. Good luck to you.
Oh I think it is so cute how they hold hands! I love nursing too. I think it'll be bittersweet when I stop nursing Owen. I like your thinking...what's the harm? They are just so cute!
Enjoy it while you can. I have no experience in this field, but I don't think I need any to know that if they miss it and you don't mind, then it's not going to hurt anything. I too hope that you will again be able to have this experience as you need to have the babies that I couldn't!
It is always bitter sweet. To me its like I am asking them to grow up, but I am not really ready for it. I love this sweet story Heather, you are such a good mommy!
Heather you never cease to amaze me! You are such an inspiration and I admire you! Enjoy the nursing time with your children. I never had to make the decision when to stop unfortunetly Zoe ended up preferring the bottle and when i went back to work full time with Jaxton my supply went downhill, allthough we hung on as long as we could :( Thank you for helping me remember to cherish this time of my life!
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