Yesterday I went to Relief Society for the first time in over 10 months. No lie. I don't know how mothers do it with juggling a three hour church block, napless babes and manage to soak in some semblance of spirituality. Obviously I don't manage it, hence the almost one year drought of feeding my Spirit in a formal church setting.
My kids are crib babies, meaning they only sleep well in their beds. Phil and I worked hard to attain this and I am happy with it. Our meeting starts at 9AM, about when the kids need to go down for their morning nap. Lately we have been enduring sacrament meeting and then Phil takes us all home where I nurse them and they go down for a nap and Phil returns to the rest of the meeting.
I received a new calling, Visiting Teaching Coordinator, and needed to be set apart after the block, so this time I got to return to church. It was so wonderful. I didn't get back in time for Sunday School but I was able to sit through a lovely lesson with the sisters, sing hymns and soak up the Spirit that was present. I needed it. I missed it and I am happy to get a little bit of "me" back. I've missed me, that part of me that has been neglected.
One of the greatest challenges I have faced since Max and Kate were born is still taking the time to nurture Heather, and remember not to lose myself in the great role of Mother. Being a mother is such a responsibility. We are in charge of growing and teaching little people; their physical well-being and playing the lead role in ensuring they are fed both physically and spiritually. We are to support our husbands, run a household, take care of EVERYONE. Oh yes, and don't forget yourself!
I have forgotten myself. In the beginning it was about survival, just the basics; sleep, feeding myself so I could then feed my babies. All of my energy was for them. And that is fine and well in the beginning. But now I need more. I am happy to be a mother and recognize this as my divine role but in order to be the best mother I can be I also need to feed the old me. My new challenge is setting aside time for scripture study and personal prayer before collapsing into bed. How can I expect to lead and teach my children if I am not being taught myself? I certainly can't do this alone and I am not expected to but I must remember to ask for help.
Phil teaches in Elder's Quorum twice a month. We have agreed to switch Sundays, I get to attend a full block twice a month and he will do the same when he teaches. For now that works for us and someday, I hope, we will all make it through, maybe when the kids start nursery?
What do you do to make it through church and how do you find time for yourself?
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About Me
- Heather
- Happily married and navigating life with a husband in medical school. Mom to 4 littles ages 5 and under. Teeth enthusiast. Photographically obsessed. Loving my crazy life.
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9 comments:
Sundays are flat out hard with little ones. I'm sure it's even harder with twins. Right now we are loving it because church goes from 9-12 and then our boys come home and sleep from 1-3:00ish. It's a perfect schedule that will soon be changed (we will switch to 11:00 in Sept).
I hope you enjoy your new calling! I have been VT Coordinator for over a year now. It's the perfect calling for getting to know ALL the sisters in your ward. There are definitely things that are tough about it but I think you'll enjoy it! Good luck:)
I remember when Andy was a baby and we had 8:00 a.m. church. It was so hard to get one ready, let alone the 2 you have. I think you are doing a great job, but you are right. You need time for yourself. Hopefully with being able to attend twice a month you will feel much more spiritually fed. We miss you and so glad we can keep up through the wonderful world of blogs!
Ahhh Church...my blood pressure rises just thinking about it. Reese is out of control. Her first nap is around 9am, just like your twins. However, we drive to church at 9am (a 20-30 min drive) and then we are in church from 9:30-12:30 and she is nuts the entire time. All I can say is that cheerios are pretty much the only way that we make it through. She will not fall asleep if she is not in her crib so she just gets really fussy. Nate and I switch off on who gets to take her after Sacrament meeting. I can usually keep her somewhat entertained with books and toys and food. As soon as we get home, I put her in her crib and she usually sleeps for 3 hours. its not my favorite but from what I hear, it only is going to get worse until she is in nursery.
Sundays are the hardest days! I think I may have even cought myself saying I hate sundays:) As you know church starts at noon which is when we usually eat lunch and then of course nap after that and wake up around 3ish which is right when church ends. My kids are also crib babies. Anyway we have just pushed through even though it is hard but the blessings of sacrifice are worth it. Your right it is hard to feel the spirit when you are constantly trying to entertain your kids so they will be quiet. There are many sundays I am standing in the hall during all three meetings and saying to myself why am I here, i don't hear the lesson or feel the spirit because I am in the hall. But I think it is still important because even though our children are young we are teaching them that this is what we do on Sundays and we are being good examples to them. As for finding time for myself I haven't figured that out yet, so when you do please share!
I totally agree, Sundays are SO hard! I always wish they had a room with cribs (or maybe seperate rooms with cribs so no babies woke each other up) because it is just so doggone hard to keep babies through that 3 hour block! I just kind of took one day at a time, and now Macey is in nursery (YAY!) and Carissa is in primary so I'm good until my next baby (which isn't coming for a LONG time!) I take time to work out for myself, and put my kids to bed early and that is my "me-time".
We pace the halls until Ella falls asleep! It really makes me dread church, it is so hard! I am glad you figured out how to attend some of the time. Good luck!
I agree with a lot of what has already been said. I know you are new in your ward and may not know very many people yet, but I am POSITIVE that there are some other women who are dying to hold a baby. Enlist the help of others...sometimes our babies act better for other individuals...frustrating, but true. I've found that they'll even fall asleep in someone else's arms when they would never do that in my own. So, I say, try to stick out the whole 3 hour block...enlist the help of others and split duties with Phil. It won't be easy, and you may not catch much of the lesson, but you'll be blessed in the long run because you're where you're supposed to be and doing what you're supposed to be doing. As for making time for yourself, this answer really stinks, but the only solution I've found is to wake up earlier than the rest of the house. Like two hours earlier...I get up, exercise, study my scriptures, take my shower and get ready. All of those things usually charge my batteries for the rest of the day and I can focus on the truly important things...the must-dos have been taken care of and now I can relax and have fun with my sweet boy. Plus, I'm sure ready for bed when that time rolls around and I sleep so much better!
Brent usually takes Croix home after sunday school (2 AKA nap time). That way he's fulfilled his responsibilities as a teacher and I can fulfill my responsibilities as the secretary. I've been trying to read my scriptures while I eat breakfast. Croix is usually happiest first thing in the morning so he will USUALLY play independently while I eat and read. I was thinking the other day that I could/should just read scpt online while nursing rather then playing on fb. Well there ya have it. My thoughts! Good luck figuring it out! I'm right there with ya!
Sundays are so dang hard! I can't imagine trying to get through them w/ two little ones. And it's frustrating how church messes with their schedule! We have church at 1pm which is right during Kate's nap (and I don't like her napping after church because it's so late). So we all get to wake up earlier than normal so she'll take a nap before church. Sleeping in on the weekend? Not so much. But I really feel like she should be in nursery, so it's either no nap at all or get her up at 6ish and she'll take about an hr nap before church.
I feel like I have a lot more time for myself now that Kate is getting older. The feedings and diaper changes are less frequent...they do sleep less during the day, but entertain themselves more. And once I stopped nursing Kate I had a lot more energy. I could stay up later and yet I felt more rested. So, I have more motivation to do things for myself, whereas before I didn't care as much...I was just drained!
Neways, that's my two cents. Good luck with your new calling!
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