Aaand I'm back...

Oh blogging. It is always in the back of my mind. I know it needs to be done, I want it to be done but lately life has been difficult. It is very important to me to document our family life and I need to be more consistent.

So, an update. And this isn't intended to be a grumpy post, just real life.

The car that overheated and was "just out of water"? Yeah. Phil filled up the car the following morning, as evidenced in the picture post below. I then ran errands that afternoon. Drove less than 15 miles. It was running fine, the thermostat was comfortably just below the mid-point. Phew! Right? WRONG! That evening I drove 2 miles to the grocery store to get bread and juice for our Sunday french toast. I glance at the thermostat as I am sitting at the edge of my neighborhood waiting to merge onto the main road. It is fine, right where it should be. Get to Fry's, run in, run out and head on home. 10 seconds later I notice the air isn't blowing cool and I look down at the dash and the thermostat is kissing high again. I instantly turn off the air and shift into neutral to coast. I take advantage of idling at a red light and the thermostat drops just a teensy bit. I am one mile from home and just drive on. I pull into the driveway and relay the gloomy news that our car is crap.

The short version? We spend the next four days meticulously searching craigslist, calling dealerships, testing cars and stressing. It consumes us. Phil and I are strung out, grouchy and short tempered. The kids watch a lot of TV, we eat a lot of cereal. Phil drives all over the valley to see several cars and none of them turn out. Bleh. Our car budget keeps creeping upward and yet we are still unable to find a reliable car with lower miles, good gas mileage, not a salvage title, etc. We re-evaluate our high standards and keep searching. And searching. (This really isn't a short version, huh?, I'll end it.)

We find a car, Phil's tests it out and makes an offer. Yay! That was back on Wednesday. The title for the car is in another state, we make arrangements to make the exchange today, Monday. Phil gets a text this morning saying the seller left out of state and may be back Wednesday. "Sorry." Hopefully we will get the car this week. In the meantime, Phil's parents have been very generous letting him use their car while they have been out of town. Bottom line, we found a car that meets our criteria and should, better see us safely through the end of training, at least 7 more years!

Moving on. Phil finished his general surgery rotation at the hospital right by our house. He loved the doctor he worked with, loved being 5 minutes door-to-door. He is now commuting to downtown Phoenix to work with an interventional cardiologist. This third year of medical school has proven to be very challenging for our family. Phil works incredibly hard and we have minimal time together. And when he is home, he really isn't "home". He is studying, checked out, stressed. I would almost rather him be physically gone than know he is in the next room behind a closed door. It is easier on me mentally/emotionally for him to be gone. I know that there is no one else but me to get things done so I just do it. When he is home, I know he can hear the chaos and I want him to help but he usually doesn't. That is okay, I get it. He needs to stay focused and the kids don't leave him alone. Anyway, it has been very stressful, very difficult on us. The silver lining through these challenges (much of which I have not stated here) is that Phil has realized that this is truly what he wants to do. We can do this. We will do this!

Max and Kate have stopped napping. They take forever to fall asleep or just pester one another and play, so no one gets any rest. If they did end up falling asleep then they wouldn't go to bed at night until after 9:30. We would still put them to bed after 8pm but they would play and play until late. So I have made the decision to just cut the naps and they go to bed early. It is a trade-off and some days I want to pull my hair out. Like today, it is not even 9am and I am ready to banish everyone to their room. I don't get much done when they are awake but we are pushing through it. Some hours (yes, hours, not days) are better than others.

Rhett's naps are going through a transition too. He is able to stay up longer in the mornings but is needy and wants constant attention when he is awake. He is still a love bug but is busy, busy. All the kids are busy and into everything. I feel like I am spinning my wheels most of the day. Constantly feeding and cleaning but then if I stop and look around I have nothing to show for it. I have happy, healthy children and I know that is what is most important. I know I am blessed and that this is an incredibly taxing time of motherhood. I know this but it is still hard. But again, I can do hard things.

I have started going to a boot camp that my stake puts on for free at the high school track. It is ridiculously early, I wake at 4:45am and it runs from 5am to 6am. It is a love-hate relationship but I am always happy to be done with my workout, home and showered before the kids wake. Now if I can stop eating sugar I would be making real progress! I am recommitting myself to regular scripture study, prayers and trying to be a positive influence on my family. I am the hub and need to stay in form. I get so wrapped up in the doing of life that I forget to ask for help. I forget that I don't have to do this alone, that my Heavenly Father and Savior are waiting to offer assistance, if only I ask. What a blessing and comfort that is, when I remember it.

Whew! That was a novel. Since I feel like no post is complete without a picture here is my morning breakfast buddy.

Rhett, 8.20.12, 6:41am


It is good to get my camera out again. I haven't taken a picture since my last post, 10 days ago. It gets me motivated, gives me perspective on what matters most and makes me want to share, thus leading to this blog, our family journal.

*This post took me over an hour to compile, children were ignored though pressing needs were attended to. There were countless interruptions, one time-out, many tears and squabbles and the TV is on. This is my life. And I am happy. Mostly. Usually.

Yes, I am happy.