And we're home.

We are unpacked and settled. Pictures are hung, curtains are mostly up and there is only a small pile of boxes waiting for my attention. Mainly textbooks and less read items that need a home. This house has different storage space, Rhett has his own room now and I don't want to make his room the catch-all for our randomness. So it still sits in the corner of the front room, waiting. It will probably wait a bit more though it bugs me every time I walk by.

We rented the largest moving truck, 26 feet long, and still didn't fit everything in. Phil had to go back with a quad trailer and make one more trip for the stragglers. He is convinced we have too much stuff and that we drastically need to downsize. I feel like I have already gone through our stuff and purged here and there. Every thing we have, we use. Three kids and two adults have stuff but I know we will do more selling and donating as we get closer to moving again.

It is good to be home and feel a sense of permanence. Even though that feeling is fleeting as we will only be here for 2 years. But there is a difference in living in something that you own versus something borrowed. Phil spent 13 hours in the yard the other day. Thirteen HOURS. Crazy man. But it desperately needed attention and he is a hard worker and enjoys it. We can now say it is starting to look like ours again. I have some touch-up paint and patching that needs to be done, blinds need some deep cleaning, grout needs scrubbing. Bleh.

We received a warm welcome from our ward, from those that knew us before. It is a good feeling and there are so many new faces that we need to meet. I have learned from our time away that I want to make good use of our time back home, I want to be proactive in meeting new friends and not stay in the safety of the familiar. We most likely have 3 more moves ahead of us, all within 2-3 years of one another. It seems that 2 years is just enough time to get comfortable with your surroundings, make friends and get into a routine. And that is when we will pack up and start over yet again.

When Phil was out working in the yard Max and Kate were in heaven "helping" their dad. They spent the entire day outside, it was nice for all of us! As my husband was outside with my kids and my baby and I inside prepping dinner I felt an immense sense of happiness and satisfaction. It was such a good feeling and I wish I felt that everyday. I need to be deliberate at finding joy and contentment where we are in life. I am happy but more often than not it seems that we have "meh" days, full of tantrums, timeouts bickering and stress. Someone is crying, I lose my temper and patience and then yell. We all miss our dad. I shouldn't complain but this is hard. Motherhood is hard, medical school is hard, life can be hard. An obvious statement and I need to do better, put on a happy face and embrace it.

The kids adjusted relatively well to the move, we tried to make everything as normal and routine for them as possible. But dang, we are going through a rough patch right now in the behavior department. This morning they have both been in timeout 5 times between the two of them. They have only been awake for 3 hours. It is going to be a long day. Blame it on being two, their dad being away so much, me being busy and distracted with putting the house together, less fun time and structured activities with their old friends... Probably all of the above. But every night I go to bed exhausted and drained in every sense of the word and feel like I failed on top of it.

Phil is roughly 6 weeks away from two monster board exams. 8 hours, approximately 350 questions each. He feels like he has the weight of the world on him. And he does, he carries our future in these two exams. No pressure! Thus he is largely absent. He sometimes doesn't come home and we go to family functions solo. I used to be able to run my errands at night after the kids were in bed but without him home I get to take three kids grocery shopping, everywhere. We were a sight at the store last week; me wearing Rhett, pushing a kid cart with two bickering toddlers and pulling a food cart. Trying to be nice and kind as they kept standing up in the cart, pushing each other for more room, "mine"-ing each other to death, whining... "Sit down please, sit on your bum, sit down, SIT DOWN!". This was even after I busted out a package of cookies to keep the peace. Yes, I bribe my kids. As it stands now we are out of fresh produce, the freezer is still empty from the move and we can only subsist on crackers and tuna. Time to get my big girl pants on and grin and bear it.