I feel I need to retract my previous post saying we were making it...
I had a doctor's appointment this afternoon. I change diapers, distribute snacks and inform my studying husband that I am leaving. I crack open the back bedroom door where Phil is holed up and leave with Rhett in tow.
One hour later I return, as I am getting Rhett out of the back seat I notice the water heater is running, which means bath time. I enter the house and peer into the bathroom to find my family. Perhaps Phil fed them dinner early? Nope.
"Your nipple cream is all gone" are the only words that greet me.
Awesome.
"Did you take Rhett with you?" were the next words.
Yes, dear distracted, completely stressed out husband, I did thankfully. As you were clearly MIA and unaware during the hour I was away.
I enter my bedroom to survey the damage. Left to their own means Max and Kate got on my bed where the diaper changing "station" is and helped themselves to the aforementioned nipple cream and the tube of Vaseline. Grease spots on my sheets and comforter are most obvious. Two outfits ruined worn by the offenders. I follow the grease trail and find treacherous and near invisible scattered spots on the tile floor waiting to break someone's pelvis, small puddles on the end table and I am sure I will find more as the night goes on.
Unfortunately my husband did not take photographic evidence of the naughty children.
Phil leaves me with two naked toddlers to continue studying, I diaper them and then tend to my crying baby. Nursing renders me helpless and trying to discipline from a chair. Not effective and my two toddlers know it and are up to more shenanigans.
Four loads of clean clothes waiting for my attention:
One pound of grapes snatched off the counter for the starving natives:
Two ounces of nipple cream found. Birth control* anyone?:
*After a particularly trying day Phil declared that he never wants to have sex again. Who needs birth control? Just have 3 kids in two years.
What happens when I walk away for 10 minutes to write this post, soggy cheerios on the floor not pictured:
Sweet burrito baby who has no idea what he got himself into joining this family:
Some days I feel the same way bud. Welcome to crazy town.
Now, if you'll excuse me I need to go and degrease my house and I want need a donut in a really bad way.
*Post Edit: I did not cry and as I look back through these pictures and our day I am totally laughing. I love my crazy life and the three (four with Phil!) crazies that keep me hopping. I just want to have these days recorded so I can remember the madness.
*Post Edit: I did not cry and as I look back through these pictures and our day I am totally laughing. I love my crazy life and the three (four with Phil!) crazies that keep me hopping. I just want to have these days recorded so I can remember the madness.
20 comments:
Oh shoot! Hopefully tomorrow will be better.
As a consolation, you are hilarious and this post made me laugh, although I was cringing the entire time too. You will make it through! You will.
You make me laugh. Raw true motherhood.
Hopefully you all survive. It may be touch and go at times though.
I hope you got your donut. Possibly even a dozen.
I understand. Those are the days I hole up in my room with a Pepsi and have a good cry.... I hope you got your donuts!
I wish we lived closer so I could take those crazy two year olds and give you a break. Some day you will look back at these posts and laugh. For now...eat your donuts and have a good cry:)
Just be careful with the holes, they go faster than the rest of the donut for some reason.
I'm so grateful for the comment you left on my blog. Now more than ever. Yeah, the 2 in 1.5 years was tough but I can't imagine bumping that up a notch. Hang in thre, even if it's by the skin on your teeth. ... You mentioned there have been no tears on your part yet. Um, that still the case, lady? :)
ps ... I can totally relate from that response from a husband. *siiiigh*
ah Heather! I can't wait to come visit! Croix will gladly join in all naughtiness. Just this morning he was eating the KY out of our night stand. Toddlers!
No donuts to be had tonight. Tomorrow it is do or die! :) I am so cashing in at my next grocery trip...
Thanks for writing this blog and sharing. Sorry to laugh and your crazy life, but I seriously haven't laughed this hard in a long time. Love you! Next time drop them off here we have nipple cream and birth control too!
Thanks for the laugh! This made my day!
Okay....I want to laugh and cry at the same time...oi oi OI!!! Hopefully too much wasn't ruined...love you. I'm so happy your blogged this awesome day to always remember it!
You can expect a special donut delivery from me tomorrow.
And I was honestly trying not to laugh, but when I saw the condoms in the push-car I busted. Tyler is in bed right now and is probably wondering what on earth is so funny.
You will laugh years from now. And props to you for posting it.
Thank goodness Max and Kate are cute!!
Go Heather!!
I hope this post was intended to make me laugh because it did. A lot.
I'm so sorry things are so crazy though. Even though it's hilarious from my end.
I think it's time I brought by that DQ I promised.
I hope they did something cute later to redeem themselves! They don't call it terrible twos for nothing, but poor you have double the terrible!
OH how familiar this scenario is!!! Crazy, crazy chaos. You captured it very well!! Please do eat that donut. If you don't....I will!!
Hilarious Heather. I so remember those days. Only I was calling Chad and begging him to come home early and help me. My favorite is when they open the birth control and have them on their little hands. Just remember, it won't always be like this. You're doing great!
Andrea said I needed to read your blog and laugh cause I just had a baby and have a crazy almost 2 year old. I'm just glad I don't have twins! Oh and someone told me they lock themselves in 1 room with lots of book, and other toys with there kids while nursing. That way they can only destroy 1 room at a time. Who knows if it works or worth trying but best of luck!
A friend of mine led me to your blog. My family is identical to yours, I'm just a little further along. My b/g twin & my baby boy are 20 months apart. My twins are now 3 & my baby is 18 mo. I so relate to this.
Are you related to Mel Gunnell per chance?
Hang in there it does get better.
What a great perspective to keep: Laughter is the best medicine! Good luck making it through the second year. Third and fourth years are so much better, so there is something to look forward to. :) If it helps at all...Phil's actions were normal---my hubs has fallen asleep while babysitting the last three times in a row.
And that nipple cream is expensive! If you still have spots to remove, try Go Be Gone.
Come to east Mesa, I'll treat you to a Krispy Kreme.
Smiles and gobs of patience.
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