Yesterday's sessions of conference were amazing and truly inspirational. I have been praying that I would receive answer to prayer from listening to our prophets voices, that I would receive counsel from the Lord on my behalf from the wonderful leaders of our great Church. I will wait another month to try and get pregnant. It is extremely frustrating and discouraging to try at something and continually fail. I do not want to make a habit of posting my monthly disappointment so this will be my last. I do want to share my testimony of answered prayer.
Friday night I noticed the physical changes that prelude my monthly nemesis. I was crushed and had let myself get excited of the possibilities, therefore leading to my heartbreak. Later that evening I fell to my knees asking the Lord to bless us with children and submitting my will to His. I asked for patience and understanding. I then went to our patriarchal blessings and reviewed the promises the Lord has made to each of us regarding children. I printed out these promises and placed them on the fridge and bathroom mirror where I can review them frequently. Then I went to bed.
Saturday morning conference comes, Elder Spencer J. Condie speaks in the first session about the promises of the Lord. Listen here until the written talk is available. He reminded us that the Lord is not slack in remembering His promises to us, that we must have faith, patience, long suffering and endure to the end. He talked about earthly impatience of which I am very guilty. He then related the story of Rachel who longed to bear children, but because of her jealousy of Leah and her earthly impatience the Lord stayed her blessing. And then my favorite part of his talk, "And God remembered Rachel" and she was blessed with children.
I know that this message was an answer to my prayer to receive guidance from my Heavenly Father. I need to have faith, patience and be long suffering. The Lord has not forgotten me and will not forget. It is on His timetable and not my own. I know that God will remember ME and that He will fulfill the promises he has made to Phil & I. This is the last I will speak of it, and I will not complain anymore of the "plight" that is mine, of my lack of conception and child bearing, for the promises of the Lord are sure. "And God remembered Rachel."
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13 comments:
Heather,
I have appreciated reading your feelings. I enjoyed Elder Eyrings talk this morning about the Lord doesn't give us experiences just for us....but that we need to write them down for the benefit of others. I know this is true. My heart aches for your loss and hearing your testimony strengthens my own.
Tears have come to my eyes as I have read your words. Heather, you are amazing at writing your thoughts. My heart aches for you too. I pray that Heavenly Father won't try your patience for too much longer. You and Phil deserve to be blessed, and as you say...he will remember you.
Oh Heather, I think of you so often. As I listened to that talk during conference I definitely thought of you. Don't feel bad about expressing your feelings each month because it is good to get it out. Thank you for sharing your testimony of prayer. You are amazing!
I admire your faith and courage in all that you are going through...thanks for sharing
Heather, what a phenominal way to experience an answer. You listened and were guided. I love that you think of the promise that God made to you in your patriarchal blessing and then can use that as a remembrance that he will not forget to give you that promise that HE has made. I love the way you speak of this and I am so happy that you have been able to find a sweet peace through this conference talk. John 14:27 "Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid".
Hey are we still on for tomorrow? Where would you like to go? Jen is coming in and is going to come also.
Trials come in many different packages, we to have had our share as of late. I read something that Elder Holland said and thought I would share, it really helped us. He said as trials come to each of us and all seems dark to remember that the sun will rise because of the Son. He remembers us, he knows us, and he loves us> Hang in there!
And God remembers Heather. And Phil. And Kelly and Ted. Thanks for your inspiring words. I missed a lot of conference this time around much to my dismay, so thank you for this.
Heather you are awesome and you will be a awesome mom when the time comes.
That is an awesome post, I missed this talk so I will have to read it. Yes, we are thinking about moving, we are building a house in Queen Creek and it will be done in a month. We are so excited (except for the fact that the house is FAR away!) Where do you live?
I am frequently reminded of how the Lord really DOES know and care about us individually; he rules the universe, yet he is intimately aware of all his children and their struggles and triumphs. This was yet another reminder. Thank you for your sweet testimony.
I KNOW the Lord will not hold back any of the blessings he has in store for all those who put their trust in Him. Hang in there.
And I agree with a previous commenter: DON'T feel like you have to hold back on your feelings, especially about this! This is a very big part of your life right now, and you should not feel bad about feeling frustrated about it.
Wow, this was a very inspiring post!!! You don't know me....but I am a friend of your cousin Kim and in her ward. I was blogging stalking, I mean hopping, tonight and stumbled across yours. I agree you have a great way with words and are a fantastic writer. But this post and knowing nothing about you has truly inspired me!!! I am sorry for your trial and I admire your faith and positive outlook very much. Each of us are given all different kinds of trials and after reading this and going thru my own trials at this time it has helped to remind me of very important keys of the gospel. Thank you for inspiring so many and I hope you the best!
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