Scene Yesterday: My mom packed up in my trusty black Nissan Sentra that I have owned for 10+ years pulling out of our garage with a happy wave goodbye. Me waving back from the garage/laundry room door with a nursing Rhett attached and two toddlers at my feet.
Thoughts racing through my mind: "Ah, I am going to miss that car." (We are selling it to my sister). Close the garage door, turn back inside to my children who are begging for a nap, i.e. whining incessantly. "Forget the car, man, I am going to miss my mom! Grandma's gone, I have three children to care for on my own. Heather, it's go time!"
And so it is. Go time, survival mode.
I am not quite two weeks post partum, still healing from my c-section though I am doing really well but still doing more than I should. We have one sweet newborn who eats all the time, loves his mama and loves to be held, two 2-year-old toddlers who also love their mama, need a lot of attention and have entered the wonderful world of two. Tantrums, extreme levels of loudness, nonstop action, entitlement and sharing issues, screaming, general bipolar behavior with pockets of sunshine and happiness thrown in for good measure and to preserve their lives. At times I question whether they will still be around when my mom comes to visit again during the holidays.
My mom was here for almost 3 weeks and took such great care of all of us. She took over while I was in the hospital and Phil has been MIA since school started, trying to stay afloat with the rigorous demands and stresses of the second year of medical school. My mom took charge of Max and Kate so I could tend to Rhett and rest. They went to the park, library, played at home. She endured Barney and cleaned up after us tirelessly. She changed stinky diapers, bathed dirty little bodies and loved my kids and they love her. She spoiled them with Grandma presents, tickle fights and wrestling. She snuggled Rhett, did our laundry and dishes. She did it all!
Bottomline: We would not have survived without her.
What our house looked like right after I put Max and Kate to bed:
It was much more overwhelming in person. Every toy was strewn about. It took me over an hour to pick up between a nursing and crying babe.
Man I love my kids but this is going to be a bumpy ride until I find my new mommy legs.
Balance will come. I need a big bottle of patience pills and a whole lotta prayers. There will be crying involved for all parties and my perception of doing well is being redefined. We'll get there slowly but surely.
11 comments:
If you ever need anything (even an emergency ice cream) please, please call me. If I found out you needed anything and didn't call me I will be so offended!!
Love you and hang in there!! You are super mom, you know. If anyone can do it, it's you. I mean that.
Ah twins at 2! You will survive and get your mommy legs, but give yourself a break because they will keep you on your toes. When Zoey and Zane were 2 they figured out how to unlock the door and walk down the street while I was cleaning the bathroom, took sharpie markers to the dining room wall and made an interesting picture, found their way to the toaster and tried to make toast, and locked themselves in Zoey's room. All this in one year and that is the highlights I remember after 12 years. You are an amazing woman and I doubt I have anything to offer, but in my experience and looking back, just enjoy the whole experience because it is gone in a blink!!!
I'm sure it is completely overwhelming right now. I honestly can't even imagine having three 2 and under. Hopefully that will change as they get older and it will get a little easier.
Oh Heather.. I wish I was closer to come take those little 2 year old twins off your hands for a few hours every week. I totally would. You are amazing, and I know you will figure it all out. Don't forget to hit your knees often, as Mother's, that is the only way we make it!!
For some odd reason I cried when I read this post. It just sounds so hard. New babies are so challenging. I think things will get a little easier when Rhett hits 6 weeks old. That seems to be a magic number for babies. Of course, you still have your hands full but I know that someday you will look back and smile and laugh. I love the pictures of the twins being all crazy and making a huge mess. You for sure will cherish that someday...just not now.
I have so been there. It gets easier. Believe me. It's like having triplets. Kate should start wanting to potty train soon. I wouldn't worry about Max yet. Sometimes boys take a little longer to start that process. You will get a routine down and it will get better. Thinking of you!!!
Love you, Heather! Call me if you need a break. Seriously.
Heather it is aunt LeMoyne, you will do great remember to take it one day at a time and sometimes the mess can just stay. Remember to love and cherish each day because it is over in a heart beat and they grow up and move on. I survived 3 under 2 and lived far away from my family. Rely on your visiting teachers and ward family and of course your heavenly father.
The first year will be rough but you just do because you have no other choice, and when you look back you will think how did I do it, and it will be all worth it. Granted I didn't have twins. But they might as well have been that would have benn easier maybe :) Anyway like everyone else you ARE supermom.
Repeat after me: "I AM DOING WELL." Because you are. You will need to redefine (at least temporarily) what a "successful" day looks like to you. You will come to accept a new "normal." It may be messy, sticky, cluttered, etc. but YOU ARE SUCCESSFUL because your children were cared for that day. No matter if they were cared for through frustration and stress. THEY ARE ALIVE BY THE END OF THE DAY. I sooooo understand how you are feeling, and my oldest was 4 1/2 when I had three!! But it was still chaos. For awhile. But PLEASE believe me when I say you are DOING AWESOME. (((HUGS)))
P.S. This is totally just me but I have REALLY pared down the amount of toys readily available to my kids, just to reduce the MESS!! We still have blocks and puzzles and all the stuff that has lots of pieces but they have to ASK to play with them, or we get them down for them then put them up when they're done. I just hate cleaning up... so that's how we roll now!!
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